Two more shy, pencil and chalk pushing, mathematicians the world had never known. Like attracted atoms they smashed together to create an inseparable bond and to release a greater energy. The observable and measurable, testable and peer reviewed relationship seemed contradictory to it’s continuing sense of destiny, and of pre-ordainment that they each felt for each other in those first months, as they witnessed the many events that brought them together, like the war, the bomb, their shared love of physics, and the coincidence that the navy had them sitting side by side in that first meeting of Operation Crossroads in nineteen forty-six. The Navy and the newly created Atomic Energy Commission had become their matchmakers, the military Quanset Huts were the dance halls where they each stopped being wall-flowers, where each of them forced themselves to be social, forced themselves to feel beautiful and wanted, a overcoming a common phobia for the two hyper intellectual study and research devotees.
It was the eve of the first Atoll test at a place called Enewetak, in warm and moist air, on calm and starlit waters, on a Navy supply ship, five decks down, where they had both been assigned tiny officer’s quarters across from each other. When Dr. Lois Franklin crept carefully across the gangway and into the tiny gray painted steel bunk room of her romantic interest Professor Christopher Catchpole. Under the dim light of a small desk lamp which cast a yellowish tint to the quarters, just enough to see each other. At first, in the two intellectual minds that faced each other, it was the laws of thermo-dynamics that flashed across their gray matter, it was Newton’s laws of motion, inertia, and force, it was the first few chapters of Gray’s Anatomy, it was Einstein’s Relativity, and it was friction that explained the physical. But as lust and sensory stimulation of body parts, never before fully touched by another, unexplored by the pressure of flesh on flesh, the numbers and the theories drifted happily away and an egg was fertilized on that warm pacific night. Like a live catch of two sardines, still writhing in the can before the lid is affixed, the two made love for three hours, on a bed not much wider than a man’s shoulders.
It was during preparations for the first South Pacific testing, that they were asked to take two weeks off, for needed rest and relaxation. They were married at the Memorial Church on the grounds of the University of California Stanford, under the redwood beams and illuminated by thousands of shades of sunlight color through stained glass. They honeymooned at Bodega Bay, at a quiet bed and breakfast, where they barely left their room, except to watch each sunset, what’s slow motion explosion of color and brushed cumulous marked a celebration of each of their days spent together. But the sunsets of pastel colors in horizontal strokes also demarcated the fast approach of honeymoon’s end, when once again, physics and details of controlling nearly instantaneous explosions of zillions atoms would be foremost in their minds.
In the Bikini and Enewetak atoll tests the salt air and rich humidity all but ruined the testing equipment. Radiation counters failed in three out of five locations and brisk ocean winds directed radiation fall-out in odd and elongated directions making a true radiation perimeter reading impossible. As a result all testing was moved to the continental United States and the flat and calm, dry and clear desert of Nevada was chosen.
The Southern Site was half a day’s drive from Las Vegas and most staff on the project lived in military housing assembled just for the project. Early in nineteen forty-eight Lois and Christopher had been there for six months and the first of many ground tests was about to occur. A concrete bunker had been built which was ten miles out from ground zero and could hold approximately twenty observers. Dr. Lois Franklin and Professor Catchpole sat side by side in back of the bunker behind the Rosenberg’s, the only other couple to have the distinction of being married and working on the project together.
Red tinted, heavy, goggles were passed out to each observer to enable them to see with their eyes the actual blast through the twenty inch high viewing slot in the front of the bunker. As the clock ticked down, anxiety rose to a level that could be felt by anyone at all sensitive to emotion. It was noon and the temperature at the desert floor was not yet warm, still fall-like at about fifty-five degrees and most observers were wearing coats or heavy jackets. Starring into the sun is the closest description to the experience of watching an atomic blast, but only as a basis to begin to describe it. It’s like three suns. No one averted their eyesight from the blast. Each observer painfully remained fixated on the explosion as if not wanting to be seen to be afraid of looking into the blast. When the blast was finished and the immense cloud of sand and dust sped towards them, the group removed their goggles and like a chorus line, tipped their heads and rubbed their eyes. Then came the dust storm and with it, warmth, a strange warmth that was not felt from the outside in, but began with warm bowels and organs, lungs inflating, and sinuses dilating. The observers grabbed their coats and jackets and unzipped and opened the fronts, men removed their caps, generals even took off their uniform hats. No one sweated as the dry wind beat it’s way through the viewing slot and sand whipped about the faces and through the hair of the observers. The warmth tingled within everyone. At the post test meeting not one person mentioned the warmth that penetrated the entire group. As if each person attributed the feeling only to themselves, and the perceived uniqueness of their own bodies.
Lois Franklin Catchpole was born on a spring Saturday in Las Vegas, with ten toes, ten fingers, and an adorable smile. A quaint white three bedroom home in Las Vegas was made into a castle devoted solely to little Lois’ happiness. Dr. Lois Catchpole retired from the project to remain at home with little Lois and coddle and love the small beauty. Her growing body was not questioned in the usual fashion by the two intellectual giants who were her parents. Upon seeing her in the maternity ward of the Las Vegas hospital, all that detail was forgotten and it seemed insulting to speculate on her physiology, her protein intake, her calcium levels, the rate of her bone elongation. She was instantly granted the status of Goddess. Above all that mortal complexity, predetermined to have a perfect body, and a mind that emulated her Earth dwelling parents.
In less than one year after Lois the child’s’ birth, her father began to be ill, weak and coughing, appearing pale and growing thin. The medical team at the project made him, and four other sickly project staff, guinea pigs to be prodded at on the base, and kept there five to six days a week under constant examination. Soon after, the numbers of incapacitated project workers had risen to more than twenty. Some of them so weak that walking was impossible. When it appeared that her husband would not recover, Lois the new mother fought in argument with the base commander and the doctors to have him returned to his home. For three months and a few days he was cared for delicately, and he was able to watch little Lois grow and play, laugh and cry. Through his hours of morphine induced delusion, and between his hours of the narcotic’s anesthetic sleep, he saw his wife and child when his eyes were open, and his awareness of his pain became the small price to pay for the sight of them.
When he stopped waking up and it was clear it was over, Lois became angry immediately, blaming the military for what she now knew was radiation sickness.
In the middle of the afternoon, Lois Franklin sat in her dark living room, as little Lois slept in her crib, and she stared at a portrait across the room, of her departed husband, standing in his lab at Stanford, at the chalkboard showing off his new equations, smiling wide and proud. In the weeks that followed the funeral she began to realize the horror of the atomic bomb. She imagined hundreds of thousands of wives and children, good men and innocent families, suffering the anguished and prolonged terror of this depletion of life in front of them. She wished that if the bomb were used, it would kill everyone instantly and spare the hoards of families on the outlying perimeter of the detonation. Lois contemplated the future of the bomb:
“Peace around the world. That’s what we thought. A weapon that would forever prevent international conflict. Better lives for our children, without wounds, lost limbs, brain damaged teenagers. No casualties. No nation dare. A large price, the risk, the risk. It can’t be worth it. How easy it would be to learn how to make the bomb, easy. Jesus, I know how to make one, and I sit here steaming mad at the United States military! Einstein is right. We are but children playing with fire. We are arrogant. We are over confident. The risk is significant. The risk is overbearing to the dream of world wide peace. Which might in itself be a delusion The Rosenbergs are right.”
For three months Lois walked in the dark shadows of mourning, camped inside the house, she had blocked the cheerful sunlight at every window by curtains, and cardboard and tape. The silence of walls, and rugs, and furniture was only broken by little Lois’s cries for attention. This dark confinement was her way of giving proper sentiment to the death of her husband. It was a combination of self punishment to alleviate guilt, no matter how unmerited, of time in reflection worthy of her husband’s life. Her vigil was enough to drain the heavy load of loss from Lois’ psyche, to a manageable position where doing nothing any longer had become frustrating, and taking action was plausible. Dr. Lois Franklin placed all of her husband’s possessions in wooden crates and nailed them shut with swift and determined hammer strikes. She sold the house in Las Vegas and moved to San Diego with little Lois, to live again with her parents. Her parents orange grove was vast and beautiful and Lois had cherished her upbringing on this farm. For the grieving widow it was a perfect place to find solace and to concentrate on caring for little Lois. Her parents were delighted, and especially because the presence of the baby made them parents again, feeling the joy and energy that swells within a child occurring again in the lives.
Dr. Lois Franklin chose not to return to the sciences, and not to teach, but to stay with her daughter as much as possible. She worked the orange business, relieving her parents of much of the tedium of the paperwork, and management of the transport, and of the management of the payroll. Very often little Lois was at her side, whether out in the fields, or in the office attached to the farm house.
#
Little Lois was eighteen months old when the men came to the farm. A fat Chevy painted a dull military green with a white star on it’s doors, churned up the dust on the quarter mile drive to the Catchpole farm. Flying a Major’s signal flag, before the dust settled across the fields of green leafy trees speckled with oranges it was obvious authorities from Lois’ life past had found her. In the office Lois swiveled around in her desk chair and her heart seemed to skip a beat as the realization that the inevitable had come. “Damn, must have been that electric bill I sent back to Vegas,” she concluded in her thoughts. She picked up baby Lois in her arms as if to protect her, and she rapidly paced out to the front of the house to meet the men and to show them what they wanted to see, her child.
Two thin officers emerged from the car and removed their hats upon seeing Lois with her baby. Lois nervously greeted them with a forced smile of cordiality. The driver was a young man with a boyish face and a pleasant smile and he remained silent and nodded his greeting towards Lois. The higher ranking officer was in his mid to late twenties and did the talking.
“Dr. Lois Franklin, I’m Lieutenant Jack Boot. You might remember meeting me at the project’s Christmas party the year before last. I’m so glad you are well.”
“I’m just fine Lieutenant, thank you for your concern. I vaguely remember meeting you, so many of you Army types look alike to me, you know, with the same haircuts across the board.” Lois smiled and bounced little Lois upwards on her hip.
“We won’t trouble you for long Dr. Franklin. I’m sure you are aware the Army likes to keep careful tabs on participants in the project, such as yourself and your husband, God rest his soul.” The Lieutenant carefully commented to Lois’ gaze without blinking.
“I understand Lieutenant. Let’s all go inside and have some tea to wash this dust down our throats. Shall we?”
As baby Lois scampered about the house, entertaining her grandmother in the kitchen, teasing an annoyed beagle, and eating cookies, Lois and the Army bureaucrats sat in a triangle of soft seats in the living room and sipped iced tea. Lieutenant Jack Boot drew documents from his attaché case and began to take notes, and check off items on list of required questions. Most of the questions were about her health. Questions such as weight, menses regularity, tooth aches, bone pain, hair loss, weakness. It made Lois uncomfortable, but knowing she would not likely see these men any time soon, made it easier to answer. When the questioning moved to her daughter, her concern peaked and the session was no longer easy to get through. The thought of little Lois getting sick and dying was abhorrent, torturing, horrific. Cringing, unknowingly shredding a napkin in her lap, she answered the questions.
When Dr. Lois Franklin-Catchpole became ill she requested of her parents that her daughter not see her in sickness. She was made as comfortable as possible, in a back bedroom of the ranch house. Young Lois saw her only in carefully arranged moments with Mrs. Franklin by her side, should she need to vomit, or a tooth should come lose while her daughter was near. Her depression in the knowing she was dying before she could raise little Lois and see her life, was enough to exacerbate the destruction of her already stressed immune system. The entire horrible event from first symptoms to a quiet, overnight death, took less than four months.
The Franklins adopted little Lois but saw it appropriate to keep her full family name. She lived a life of a spoiled grandchild on the vast orange grove farm. She had a pony, and her own playhouse in the lush and green backyard. Bicycles and Barbies and friends surrounded her daily, as Lois was popular at school, and the Franklins were happy to entertain groups of her friends on any occasion.
In nineteen sixty-five Lois and three friends piled in her new red Ford Falcon convertible and took-off in search of the Beatles. They traveled to fifteen cities, chasing rumors in most cases. The sight of Paul in the flesh was all they wanted. To touch him would be even better, to smell him would be “to die for,” and for some of his hair they might just kill-off near by competition. In New York City, at three o-clock in the afternoon, Lois drew the short-straw to go into a hardware store and buy a huge sledge hammer. In New York City, at three o-clock in the morning, four high school seniors from North Orange County high school broke into a hotel kitchen using a thirty-pound sledge hammer on the back door chains, in hopes of getting to the fifth floor, where it was rumored the Beatles were staying. With a ten minute chase through the hallways and down the stairwells, and a great struggle of clothes pulling and falling on carpeting, they were arrested on the second floor by two bellhops and three security guards who had to fight harder than they could have imagined to wrestle the four crazed young women to the floor. Lois wrote her grandmother a letter from the third precinct holding cell the following morning.
Dearest Nanny,
I got arrested last night! It’s Ok, don’t worry, we are fine. They said our bail would probably be twenty-five each. We have it, but it means we’ll have to come home after we get out tomorrow. We are supposed to see the judge by noon tomorrow. In the jail cell we have to pee in the open! Fortunately there are four us and we take turns hiding each other around the commode. Everyone can see us. They took all our things, our make-up included. The food is horrible, worse than Granddad’s pepper relish on sourdough! (ha ha just kidding Granddad). I think they served us meatloaf, but Cindy insists it was a chicken patty of some kind, and Sally wouldn’t eat hers and we think that by tonight it will transform into a hockey puck (we’re watching it closely). I’ve been thinking about college, and specifically UCLA, and I’m feeling more and more ambivalent about the whole thing. I’m thinking I would like to take a few years and explore myself. Maybe live on my own for a while. It will likely take us about ten days to get back to you. See you then!
P.S. We still haven’t seen Paul, or John, or George, or even Ringo.
Your loving and grateful, but disappointed about the Beatles, granddaughter.
- Lois